So I finally did it! I got all of the pictures of my mom hung up in my house. There is a family tree wall, and I finally had the courage to hang all of the pictures. The pictures that I cherish of my mother. I did not have the courage to hang them all until now. It was kind of a big deal. I have healed enough to be able to look at those cherished memories every day, without being reduced to a sobbing sack of grief. My father has been to my house to see them as well. They made him smile!
My daughter and I have talked about them several times in the past couple of weeks since they have been hung. How she was her Granny's doll baby, and how much Granny wanted her and loved her. She went through missing her a couple of weeks ago, when she was tired, saying,"I don't remember those times with my Granny!" Shot through my heart, as I promised my mother that I would never let her baby forget her. So we have been talking about her more, almost everyday.
So this morning, my baby was going through the pictures on the wall, and asked, " Can I pray to my Granny mommy?" I replied, "Sure you can baby, anytime you want!" So she climbed in my bed and proceeded to pray to my mother in heaven, saying," Granny I miss you!"
Water works-check. So then we climbed that giant lump in my throat hurdle, had a good cry, and she came up with a great idea! She said, " Momma, I need an envelope!" I asked her why. She replied, "I want to send hugs and kisses to Granny in heaven!" AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. My child definitely shares my mother's and my propensity for big heartedness. And the ability to pull on my heartstrings at the drop of a hat.
So I go and get her a card, and sit her down at the table to get started. She immediately writes I, draws a heart, and a u. I tear up again. She then draws herself and an anatomically correct "Granny". She draws a line and explains that they are hugging and kissing. She then has me spell to Granny From Hayden out loud for her while she addresses the outside of the envelope. She then puts her card in the envelope and says, "we can't forget all the hugs and kisses!" I am a mess at this point.
She then asks me to take it to the mailbox, since we are still in our jammies. I say sure, and she watches me carry it our, and pretend deposit in the mailbox. She said, "so Granny can pick it up!" have a mini-breakdown en route to the mailbox! I will save this special card forever!
So Granny, you've got mail. A very special delivery, from your doll baby! I just know that you received your special delivery to heaven!